By the time I entered my adolescence, I faced many problems concerning with my religion. I began to wonder why people look down on Moslem, though as a matter of fact we believe that it is the truth itself. It is quite on the contrary with the atheists. Although in this country we are taught or at least people think that atheists has a negative label, we can see that Russia, and other countries, whose population are mostly atheists, are much more developed than our country. Beside, they are hard working, and they have advanced technology. To put it simply; why don't I become an atheist ? (realizing that we are religious, but we are far left behind).
Other thing that often bother my mind is the fact that most prisoners and criminals are Moslems. If this religion is the truth or about the truth, then there should be very few crime in this country.
I think there many unjust things to see. Why followers of a religion hate atheists, and why followers of one religion hate followers of other religion. If all religion are right, then we should be free to choose one. Those accumulated problems and questions made me neglect my obligations in relation with my being a Moslem. There were so many things that I should have done, but I did not do them. As I quit those obligations, I began to wonder: Does God really exist ?. this question kept bothering me every single day.
Coincidently, one day I walked across a new residential area. There used to be no building there, only a green field. The population increase in the area brought my mind further back, and further back more. If there are some billion of people in this planet now, a few hundred years ago, there must be smaller number, and much fewer some thousands of years ago. The figures get smaller and smaller as draw the line further back to the past until it reach the time when there were only two couple inhabited this Earth. Then I began to ask: Who created that first couple ? from that moment I started believing in The Creator.
Then I learned different religions. When I studied Bhagavad-Gita for a few years which I read again and again, I came to a view of who I was and where I was going. I got the principle that life is not too hard, yet not too easy from Buddhism. I learned that life should be lived to its optimum (not maximum). Though we have not finished some small things, we have finished or at least nearly finished the whole.
Whatever we do, no matter how small it is, is something important. I learned this from The Zen. Here I began to change my view about my daily activity, from merely common daily activity to a 'meaning fun' sets of activities. Having a meal has the same value as praying. From Christianity about love, from the lowest (the love to others) to the highest, the love to God.
From all that I have learned, I finally found an outstanding model. He is a model in many different aspects, and he is Mohammed. In the family, he is a good husband and father. How he took care of the family, how he maintain his relation with his wife and other things, we can take him as a model. In relation with economics, he taught us how run and control economic situation. He was also an excellent state man, we can learn from him how to maintain stability. He was also a genius thinker. We can see this from how spoke or discussed things. And in the battlefield, he was a brilliant commander and a kind hearted man.
It was quite different from the time when I learned about Buddhism. Buddha only emphasized on the spiritual aspect, and so does Jesus. Newton was only good at science. Napoleon was only brilliant in the battle field, so for other aspect, we have to turn to other model.
At the end of my spiritual journey, I see that all this world is moving towards Moslem. French Revolution that called far brotherhood and equality is there in Islam. We can see it in the hajji in which everyone, regardless of his nationality, race, social status are the same.
Abraham Lincoln was famous for his slavery abolishment. It is there in Islam. And so is what Nelson Mandela was fighting for. There is no difference of race and the color of peoples skin in Islam. I think, sooner or later, everyone will accept Islam.
And who is Allah ?
Muchsin Faisol Effendie